Tale of a Game Magus

    Dreams are such a terrible thing to have. They're a burden on the mind and each minute you spend not attempting to accomplish such dreams is torture. I often wonder if giving up is the best idea. It would be less of a burden on myself, but I may loathe my existence more so than I do now. Giving up on a dream feels just as bad as holding on to them. Once you have them, you've sealed your fate to a form of suffering. Perhaps that's just me, and I'm speaking to the void while living in a constant state of self loathing. Or perhaps I have too many dreams and I just get overwhelmed by everything required for each one and I shut down mentally and resort to distractions or half-ass part of a project only to realize I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing.      I know what you're going to say: How's therapy going? It's not. Within the three weeks since I was supposed to start, We have had one session which just went through my family history. We only got t...

         The Ten of Cups is one of the more straightforward cards. It indicates positive familial relationships. Usually romantic, however not necessarily. There has been growing pressure on myself and my fiancé for a lot of things. Mostly career related.                I, as you may know, feel stuck in a field I no longer have passion for and cannot get a job in anyway. Many in my life believe my ever declining mental state is because I can't get a job. My father being one who believes this. I disagree. It would be one thing to not be able to get a job, but to not get a job doing what I don't even want to do, all the while feeling as though I failed myself in obtaining the skills in what I actually desire is something else altogether. I have reached out and will begin therapy next week. Hopefully I get the strength and knowhow to overcome my crippling executive dysfunction.      My fiancé...