Start of Something?

 I am wizoko.


Well, my real name is Connor. But for this, I'll go by a handle. 


I've been to college. I graduated with a bachelors in Wildlife and Conservation Biology. I spent a few years doing seasonal and temporary jobs. I was an Assistant River Steward, an AmeriCorps member, an Assistant Forester, a summer camp's Nature Specialist, and a Park Ranger. Throughout that, I had a few other odd jobs working at liquor stores, chipping trees, and currently being a Barista. 


I'm tired of this. I've struck out in getting a permeant salary job for a few years now. Not that I've truly been passionate about the jobs my field offer. Don't get me wrong: I'm passionate about the importance of the environment and I'm incredibly grateful for the knowledge I gained from my experiences. Working in the field, however, feels empty to me. I feel no impact or fulfillment. All the power to those who find their passion and fulfillment in it. 


Why did I choose this field?


I always theorized my parents were the reason. 


It's wild that kids have their hand held through 11 years of school, then in the 12th year: decide their entire life. My parents wanted me to go into something in Biology for it was one of my best subjects (the other being Writing). I was told to start school with a broad major of some kind then I can switch it; so I did. When it came time to focus in on something, all my classes were biology based. My parents were trying to nudge me into something medical, but I went into Environmental Sciences instead. It was kinda my first real choice I made for myself. Before that, I think the only big decision I've ever made by myself was to take up the Trombone which changed how I lived my life from 5th grade through my Senior Year.


My parents are both doctors. Chiropractors, to be exact. Growing up I struggled with ADD. You'll find I will ramble and get off topic in these posts. My mother did not want to put me on the drugs and instead went back to school to learn other ways to keep me focused. I did a weird time keeping computer program, wore weird glasses that shined lasers to stimulate parts of my brain and did other mental exercises and never took any of the drugs. I'm also grateful for that for I'm not reliant on it to function.  However, I still have Executive Dysfunction and I still daydream. 


I daydreamed constantly. That was kinda the root of my issues in school. I hated school. It was too rigid and strict and a lot of sitting and listening or really boring work. I would imagine in depth worlds in the middle of class. Because of this, still, my mother was a bit of a helicopter mom. Near every decision was either from me getting my mothers council or by following my brother.


I looked up to my brother. Still kinda do. I find myself thinking too much: "what would my brother think of me doing this?" I gotta stop doing that.


Despite all this, I found a comfort in video games. They were wild, and fun. They were fuel for my mind and my world. I loved games that had a deep story or silly/interesting concepts. It was my favorite medium to show someone's mind. Because of my ADD, I always felt the need to be doing something. Shows and books lost my interest after a while because of this.  My daydreams turned into game concepts. But that's always been the issue: they were daydreams. It wasn't until I was in High School when I started writing the ideas down, and I've never been good at drawing, or at least, sitting down to get better at drawing.


Which brings me to why I'm starting this blog: I'm going back to taking classes to follow my dreams of telling stories through the medium of games, and I want to document my journey. Taking classes will force me to sit down and do the work I need to do to make or at least fully conceptualize and write out my ideas. I'm not good at coding so I'm taking a Game Art and Design program as opposed to the more technical program. 


I will be streaming games and video blog entries at twitch.tv/i_am_wizoko and posting at least the entries onto my YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5Y6ealEYOuRnI9D9AMY5Nw


This is my choice, and where I end up is my destiny.


I am a wizard at heart. My card is the Magician. 


I am wizoko.

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