Three of Wands
First off, I want to preface this by saying I forgot to do last month's card of the Three of Cups. This card stood for celebration and friendship. It was, however upside down and while I don't always read reverse, this one seemed to fit with what actually happened. The reverse meaning either solemness or loneliness. While busy, the month felt relatively jovial. There was a week where my fiancé left on a trip and I took that time to really just kinda meditate and think about myself.
In the Three of Wands, a man stands on a hill overlooking a harbor. He has a tripod type of setup with a spyglass looking out towards the horizon. The card stands for careful planning and slow execution. A planning stage per-say for what is to come.
As always, I have more ideas than drive, however, this time, I feel more a push for productivity. It helps that my therapist began to give me the task of doing at least 3 hours working on something like drawing or animation. Even though I'm not good at even sticking with that, the thought of disappointment coming from a source that isn't me pushes me to do it. I'm currently experimenting with animating something simple and silly that I'll post onto my YouTube channel more to get a feel for how it's done in photoshop.
I'll sometimes question my priorities. I often feel like maybe I'm in the wrong for wanting to change my field into game design. I tell people what I'm currently doing and get a slew of people saying "wow that's so cool," "I wish that was my job" or some variation of those things. But I don't feel that. Everything I seem to do in my jobs feels half-assed or uninspired. Maybe it's because I'm too close to it. So I either see the truth or some delusional view of it being negative because I want to see that to justify my change of path. I really don't know.
In other news, I started my 3D modeling and animation class. It's the first class that I really need to learn as much as I can in. Will I be able to? I don't know. I already stressed about my first assignment that seemed easy but I was rushing last minute to do. And not just rushing to finish the assignment, but the readings too. I need to make it habit to do my readings earlier in the week so I'm not holding my head spiraling on Sunday because I can't figure out how to perform a simple function. It doesn't help that my schedule is inconsistent, so making a normal weekly schedule isn't gonna happen.
I'm working on the next list for Gameplay, so keep an eye out for that. The animation I'm working on is gonna be called Molston's Moleskin Beer. It'll be my first animation, even though it'll be a simple sketched character with a low framerate and like 3 actual moving parts. I also got stung by two bees today.....it was kinda my fault.
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