Two of Pentacles

 

    What is possibly the most important in having a happy and fulfilling life is finding balance. Balance in emotions can keep you level headed. A work-life balance makes one feel fulfilled but not overworked. Moderation in something like eating can make one healthier. There's a level of balance in all things and creating and maintaining that balance is incredibly difficult and sometimes near impossible for me. Making sense that October's card for me is the Two of Pentacles.

    Here in this deck's Two of Pentacles, a lady rides a penny-farthing bicycle over unstable waters. Those bikes are hard to keep upright as it is. We must note that the bike chain is the infinity symbol or figure 8. In tarot, this is usually seen in Major Arcana such as Strength and The Magician. It represents infinite, as in the infinite need to keep balance despite how rough the waters may be, but also shows the connection between things. The book that came with this deck specifically says the relationship between "Time and Energy." I don't always read reverse with this deck, however I must note that it was in reverse which would instead mean disorganization, over commitment and emotional or mental turmoil. In a way, this would make sense for this month too.   

    This month marks the end of one of the most stressful classes I've had to date: Digital Sculpting. This required the use of multiple programs. The school wanted: Maya or 3DS Max and Mudbox. We needed to create a model that had organic matter in it (like wood or something) on Maya or 3DS Max. I started on 3DS Max because it's what I used in my last class. However I wasn't sure how to follow the professor who was using Maya, so I switched. I decided my model would be a hock of ham with a mouth. like a ham mimic. As I hit part 2 of the project, which was my first soiree into Mudbox, I sent it in, and got a failing grade. The professor said I could resubmit it by the next Sunday. I had a busy week and did it all on that Sunday. 12 hours of work in a row because I scrapped the ham and decided to follow the professors table tutorial which required me to switch from Mudbox to ZBrush and Substance Painter. Because these courses are so short, the professors do a poor job in explaining anything so some things come out wrong because they have settings they never said, or they are saying 'do this, this and this" with no explanation as wo why. Because of that, I suffered many breakdowns trying to figure out what went wrong and because I basically needed to teach myself some of these programs. So in all, this session, I had to learn Maya, Mudbox, ZBrush, and Substance Painter.

     Overall, I'm actually impressed with how my table came out. Perhaps even a bit of a sense of pride. I feel more as time goes on, I have the tools to create a game. Then I remember my lack of coding skills. So there's that.

       I have also learned that there is still openings to being Minecraft content creators. I began to stream Minecraft Dungeons (basically a more simplified version of Diablo) and I consistently get 4-6 viewers and multiple players willing to play the game with me. I didn't have anything like that since playing Realm of the Mad God. It could be my key into becoming a Twitch Affiliate. Only problem is I like to change up what I play. Those currently following may not be as interested in other games. So I would have to be generally entertaining enough to these people to get them coming back for other games like Little Nightmares 2, which I want to play later this month. I guess best not to focus on how to market myself and just have fun streaming. 

    

     It's a surreal feeling, talking to these random people. Like it's both exhilarating playing for so many people's entertainment, but also terrifying having invisible eyes on you. I've performed before in front of people. Nearly weekly in college, however it's different when you can't see your audience. 

    In other news, I have like a week less than a year before my wedding. Anyone watching my streams can tell my beard had grown considerably. I am also going on a relatively strict diet and exercise routine. Cut out all bread and processed sugar (I'll still have some honey) every other week and work out every day. I'm also trying intermittent fasting, because I usually skip breakfast anyway. It sucks so far, so we'll see what the effects are and I'll adjust from there. 

    It's been such a chaotic few weeks, I forgot to work on my animation. It'll be out eventually.