Tale of a Game Magus

  The Tiniest Goblin By Connor (wizoko) Williams A cool breeze cut through the trees, causing Dengi to stir and open his eyes. Through the underbrush, he watched the canopy of the forest lazily sway against the warm morning light. The trees were younger, only a few decades old, allowing smaller bushes and shrubs to grow. He took a deep breath and stretched out. He could smell the freshly blooming flowers nearby accompanied by the mellow scent of morning dew. Reddish, almost black petals surrounded his face. He didn’t know what they were but he enjoyed the look of them.  The ground was surprisingly comfortable and the dense undergrowth did well to hide him from anything that might do him harm. “Maybe I could make this forest home.” He contemplated, trying not to dwell on the thoughts that caused him to cry himself to sleep the night before.  He considered going back to sleep when his calm was halted by the heavy crunch of footsteps nearby.  He shot up, swiveling...

 As my class nears its end, and I begin writing the final draft of my paper, I reflect on the past few weeks. I began drawing more. Having the tablet be an easy grab helps. I would just like it if I had an actual desk with room to draw on. Some day this week, I plan on spending an entire day just drawing. With jobs to apply for, homework/chores to do, people wanting to hang out, and games with holiday events, finding a day is easier said than done.  I find myself watching cartoons trying to understand how these artists get so much depth to such simple designs. I draw what I think could be comparable, but end up being considerably more bland. Drawing digitally, though, is making it all more difficult. It's a medium where I can't even draw a straight line, let alone anything with any sort of detail.  My next class is color theory. I'm honestly not sure if that's a good thing or not. It's a class that required me to purchase Adobe Creative Cloud so I am unsure if I wil...

 Been a while. Not much has happened, I suppose.  I got a drone. The Mavic 3. Hopefully I can start doing video and photography with that soon. Just waiting on the tablet to come in so I can see what I'm doing. My writing class is pretty straight forward, which is nice. We've written a couple things to just portray setting and conflict. I based them off a story idea I had about if D&D style magic was in our world. I mean, that idea has been done before but I have my own spin on it. I was able to draw a bit. A silly comic character I came up with called The Littlest Goblin. I'm just so frustrated with myself. I struggle so hard with perspective, head shapes and hands/feet. I can draw weird things easily, but who can't? Just draw whatever the fuck you feel like. I know that to get better, I need to just draw more. I've heard that 1000 times from artists. Like I fucking know. I can't bring myself to do the things I want to do. I'm not sure if it's fear ...

  A blank mind An active screen draws the attention of my withering dream Glass walls  that don't exist fill me with fear and pejorative bliss Caked with  prints and grime past attempts and so much lost time Screams can be heard but only by me a glass wall I cannot see

 When there's big change on the horizon, many things seem to change at once, not always things you want.  I finally got around to contacting a broker and, subsequently, a real-estate agent. We are starting the long stressful process of finding a house. I'm a little concerned that I have yet to get a real job of any kind and thus have no idea where exactly to look for a house. I have a range, based off my other and my current job which I now can't quit until I either get a better job or a house. Though my other is considering taking a position at a different campus, so that might limit our range to a certain area.  It's even more unfortunate that I'm backed into a job corner because my boss decided to expand into food. We've had basic pastries that he would buy from Big Y and resell (not sure if that's entirely legal), but he now wants me to be a sandwich artisan. I avoided regular food service thus far. Food service workers are treated like shit and have a l...

 After another long drive, I return home. I would have wrote these past couple days, but I forgot. I am stressed over the paper I need to submit on Sunday and I feel like I don't grasp entirely what I have to do. I did not get around to reading Hero of a Thousand Faces like I hoped. It would have helped my paper. Perhaps I could listen to a rundown of it today sometime.  My computer keeps showing signs of slowing down. It froze during my stream on Tuesday. I had 3 watchers too. It's unfortunate, really. Every time I make an inch, I feel like I'm pushed back a foot. I am failing at Inktober too. I didn't draw at all on my trip.  I am, however thinking of a story to write. Hopefully in a graphic novel or online comic style. Something weird so it doesn't have to look great. Something related to dreams with some seriousness but mostly silly. Almost like what I gleamed from what little I read of Homestuck. I feel useless unless I am creating something. I feel like I can...

 Whenever I get busy, I think about the antagonist from the animated Frosty the Snowman movie. Specifically his nasally voice saying "I'm busy. busy busy busy." Not important though. No huge updates this week. I've just been busy doing homework, working and not having much free time until I'm already tired and basically braindead.  I'm very tired of hard, uncomfortable chairs. My computer chair is uncomfortable and the chair I've been using at work is uncomfortable. It's taking a toll on my hips. Still another week of not drawing, but I feel my schedule was a bit of an excuse here. In a couple weeks I'm heading to Delaware for my cousin's wedding. After that, I think my schedule will even out. I kinda regret taking an extra day at work. It's exhausting working 9 hours a day, bored for most of it, sitting in an uncomfortable chair. I do need the money.... Mentally, I feel it's taking a toll on me too. My coworkers can't even be bothe...